Previews of Singapore

Today I was watching the highlights of India’s magnificent win over Sri Lanka. Sachin was playing beautifully. During the commercials, I saw a yellow road side sign with the ‘Merlion’. Suddenly the F1 sign came up in the corner. I got out of the chair and watched intently. Suddenly the Merlion looked all scared and he jumped into the water as an F1 car zoomed past it leaving the sign board spinning around itself. Then the 28.08.2008 appeared on the screen! Wow! I was thrilled to see something related to the most awaited event in F1.

And as I have started writing about F1, let me just tell you F1 saw a high powered multi-team testing in Barcelona today. The unofficial best laps were-

1. Lewis Hamilton, McLaren, 1:22.276
2. Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari, 1:22.319
3. Michael Schumacher, Ferrari, 1:22.428

Schumi has still got it hasnt he!! Hamilton gave a stunning performance. Alonso could clock only 1:23.021. Told you didnt I, his car is just not working for him.He was the 7th fastest.

Also, it was a fine day in Force India camp. Adrian Sutil clocked 1:23.091 and was 9th. Liuzzi was 12th out of 19 cars that tested and could reach 1:23.239. So it was an impressive first impression for VJM01. Giancarlo Fisichella will replace Sutil for tomorrow’s session behind the wheel. With just a couple of weeks left before the big day, each second gained here will boost the confidence of the teams tremendously.

My professor is a Robot!

I am serious. Yesterday, something happened in the class that triggered this thought. Suddenly the electricity went off and this professor went blank. It was like his power supply was cut off and he was just standing there looking at the board blankly. Then suddenly he said “Where was I?” (Maybe used his backup power!). And his processor hung again. Finally when electricity was restored, he was back on track but he repeated half the stuff…maybe he didnt hav time to save the backup. (He claimed that he suddenly went blank bcoz he was distracted when the lights went off, but that must be std defense mechanism to hide the identity). I m not lying guys, I hav witnesses!

So then I suddenly realised that he must be bound by the 3 laws of robotics.

1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Never seen him trying to harm anybody and stuff…tries to kill us during lectures by causing brain damage, but he does not consider students as human beings, animals instead.

2) A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

He obeys the orders given by ‘Humans’ according to his programming, the HOD, director,etc.

3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

His statement earlier for self defense is a clear indication that he tried to protect his existence.

Definitely a robot!

The Legends of Sooraj Barjatya

Yesterday I had an accident. My sister was watching ‘Hum Saath Saath Hain’ and I had to c it accidently( for 3rd time). I came to the following conclusions from that movie about Sooraj Barjatya’s philosophy.

1. There should be atleast 30 members present in the house at any given time.(Also applicable to Hum Aapke…)
2. Every member of the family can dance and play any instrument he/she can lay his/her hands on like ringing the bell
3. During songs and even normal conversations everybody in the frame must be smiling to the maximum possible extent
4. Organize functions for any and every occasion
5. All the people must laugh extravagantly on slightest hint of any attempted humour.
6. All the girls must blush when either herself, her husband or would be husbands are praised
7. GoodieGoodie stuff is the only dish on the menu. Every viewer must feel like he is swimming in chocolates and candies for a good 95% of the movie.
8. 1 song per lot of 10 dialogues
9. Aalok Nath is an actor who can smile and cry at in the same facial expression. Show that every now and then

3 hrs of pure torture!

Its an Ad Ad Ad Ad world

During the CB tri-series, I was bombarded with all sorts of ads. I liked some of them, while some of them were very irritating. So I decided to rate them. So here u go-

(1) MotoYuva- Father scolding his son, son tunes in ‘Garam Masala’. Great idea. Amazing synchronization of dad’s actions with the music.(Especially the last bit..’Tune Jadu kar…Tune Jadu kar…Da…La’)- (5/5)

(2) Vodafone Alerts- Except for the 1 with husband waiting outside maternity ward, looking tense, waiting for scores.. I feel other ads were totally off the mark. (3.5/5)

(3) Bingo- Mad ads. Especially ones with the old doctor (Crash testing and pregnancy test). Other ads were also quite ok.(4/5)

(4) Pepsi- Deepika…(5/5)

(5) Fanta- Boring!! An idiotic trying to get his head banged. I dont buy stuff like that. (3/5)

(6) Havels- Touching ad of cables that dont catch fire. Fine ad of fans with the kidnapped guy. (4/5)

(7) Eclairs- Looks like a scene from Govinda movie. Swapnil Joshi n some girl with That 70’s look, come running in sunflower fields and BANG! Haad. (2/5)

( Center Fruit- Kaisi jeeb laplapai!! Humanized ATM. No electricity. No A/C. Nothing. Just a couple of guys and a centerfruit. Good thinking…but too weird. (3/5)

(9) Cream Fill Alpenliebe- Nice ad. Son mimicking his father in front of guests. Mummy-papa looking all impressed. Suddenly boy says”Papa Ghar me..”, takes of his shirt and starts washing it. I liked this 1. (4/5)

(10) Crab tree- Toilet fittings. Family bidding farewell to newly married daughter. Groom switches on or off her crying with an invisible knob. As simple as that. Not bad. (3.5/5)

(11) GMR- Getting India ready. Great ads. All of them. Family eating chillies, people trying to do Bollywood eeshtyle dance, a couple trying weird pronunciations. Very nice. (4/5)

(12) Karizma- Hrithik, his bike, some goons and mud. The most pathetic ad! I wont even bother explaining the part where mud transfer takes place.But seriously think about it. You are advertising for a bike. You are only showing Hrithik roshan in your ad. Nothing shown about bike except that you can use it to throw mud on anyone. Guys not interested in hrithik and know that its milage sucks. Girls will love this ad…but sadly they dont ride bikes! (0.5/5)

(13) Mentos- Evolution! Sahi ad! Great animation. Catchy background tune. Well done (4.5/5)

Innovation….Change that creates a new dimension of performance.

Dont think that big bcoz this post is under ‘Akhiyon Se Goli Maare’. Though its a ‘Bekkar’ movie, it has given a new brilliant idea to product designers.

For example, take a look at this fan Shakti Kapoor is holding…

I mean how great is that! A portable fan, run on a battery powered mini motor with aerodynamically designed flexible blades! He can also use it in jail. Amazing. The next 1 is the mother of all inventions.

Sunglasses that make you shine, literally. Sunglasses with a strip of flickering LEDs!!!!!!! Who thinks of stuff like that??? I think the source of inspiration for the creator of this marvel must be an Indian truck..

Schumi Back on track

Yes..he is back. Not for racing of course..but he will be seen in Barcelona testing for Ferrari. Schumacher has been in touch with the Ferrari since his retirement after 2006 season. He was special technical adviser for Ferrari throughout the last season. Schumi fans like me were excited to see him in the Ferrari pits. And now he will be testing for Ferrari for the 2nd time after late 2007.

He is supposed to be a driver who knows the nerve of F1 cars. Also, he has driven a car without traction control in early stages of his career before it was banned by FIA in 1994. So his experience will be of immense importance to the Ferrari. Many of the current drivers had driven F1 cars without traction control. These include David Coulthard, Rubens Barrichello, Trulli, Fisichella. Heidfeld and Alonso also had a brief experience in their debut seasons in F1. So there are quite a few ‘Pro’s around and Ferrari would really appreciate all the help they can get from the best guy behind the wheels.

Genius!

I salute the creators of this site. Just check it out…

Uncyclopedia

Its too good…just go on surfing.

Recommended searches-

1. Google
2. Uncyclopedia (Dont forget to check out their flags)
3. Ferrari
4. George W Bush
5. Europe
6. Hollywood
7. Food
8. Petroleum
9. iPods

Dont try to search about anything that you like. I searched for Ferrari and now I m kicking myself for doing that.

P.S. Just be careful….the content can go out of hands quite sometimes and the language is almost invariably offensive!

Ride on Cowboy!

There is a very obnoxious reality dance show on Zee Marathi…’Eka Peksha Ek’. The Mahaguru of the show is Sachin Pilgaonkar. And the host is Aadesh Bandekar. Now take a look at this pic.

Yesterday he was wearing this terribly made cowboy outfit. No need to explain the finer details to be focused on! His hat was missing in this pic. And imagine him walking like a cowboy with the standard background music of The good bad and ugly and making noises which sounded not entirely unlike gunshots aftre he announced a break.

I am not complaining abt the designer. People make all sorts of things under the name of fashion. But just bcoz they make it doesnt mean you hav to wear it. Mr Bandekar wore plus his stupid dialogues and childish acting made it worse.

Alex Furguson Sacked!!!!

I know….its a huge news. I was also shocked. You dont believe me…wait I hav a proof.

The portion marked in red says ‘Man Utds manager Ryan Giggs…..’

Terrible isnt it! Nobody knows abt this yet…except 4 readers of ‘SAKAAL’.

I hope they declare the reasons soon!

Fernando Alonso: “I have a very good chance of winning championship this year”……. Me: “HA!!”

Fernando Alonso recently claimed that he has a chance of regaining the championship like never before. Apparently, he tested the new R28 Renault at Valencia and then finalized his move to Renault. After weeks of testing, he made this claim. But thats his job. He has to create this hopeful situation for his fans (I dont think there are much left though). I am not frowning upon this because I hate him. Or I should say I am not frowning upon this JUST because I hate him. There is a very valid reason for this.

Force India driver Giancarlo Fisichella also tested the same R28 and he has claimed that this car is not the kind that will help a driver to win the championship. Renault was lagging far behind the top teams last year. It will not be easy to come from that far behind and win the championship in 1 year. Also the results at the testings are not very promising for Alonso, be it a dry track or wet 1. Best he could manage was 3rd or 4th fastest. The new R28 is not working for Alonso. He is clearly struggling.

On the other hand, the Ferrari is cruising just fine. Both the drivers have shown positive results with F2008. Apparently no major problems were faced. Both drivers made a mark at Bahrain

Mclaren also did quite well in Europe. Heikki Kovalainen pleased his boss by topping the chart in Jerez. Hamilton continued his stunning form behind the wheels and was fastest in Barcelona.

So it will be a tough road for alonso this yr. All this means a great season ahead, with a potential treat for Alonso haters!