How stuff works: Part 2

I wrote the part 1 a long time ago, so here is a refresher

I have been forced to write the second part by two incidents in the past few days.

1) The Board Office: Kolhapur

Maharashtra State Board of Secondary and Higher Secondary Education. Thats the board I am talking about. I am applying to a few German universities, which demand certified copies of 12th std passing certificate. The certification has to be done either by a German consulate or the authority issuing certificate (the board). The procedure at the german embassy takes 4 weeks which was not possible for me because of deadlines. First I went to the Pune board office as it is the head office. I was shocked to see the treatment I got there. For the first time in my life I was not treated like a piece of crap in a government office. But sadly I was told that I will get such copies from Kolhapur, as I passed my exam from Kolhapur board. Fair enough, I thought. The guy explaned the whole procedure- 1 simple application and, xerox copies, 200 Rs for verification of records and I would get my copies in half an hour. I was truly ecstatic. High on spirit, I reached Kolhapur. But as you might have guessed, it was not meant to be. Otherwise I would have not written this post!

After convincing the watchman for 10 min that I had a genuine case and had no intention of stealing a paper or anything, he let me in. I entered the record section at 11.15 am. There was (obviously) not a single soul to be found. A 10 min wait and a peon walks in. I am told ‘Saheb busy ahet!’. Around noon, ‘Saheb’ walks in. I put my case in front of him and now I am told “This is handled by xyz madam”. Peon tells me that she is sitting in the next room. I try to eavesdrop and there I could hear a conversation among 3-4 ladies about how their boss is an ***hole. To be fair, it was rather entertaining, but I was pissed off at that moment. Madam returns to her desk after a while and I repeat the whole deal. She tells me to write an application, attach a copy of my I-card(??) and the bombshell… get my original passing certificate Notarized!!! I am literally stunned. I try to tell her ‘Uh, mam, actually this is the original certificate provided by board, so..’ She gives me a dirty look and takes out a circular from a file and shows requirements for certification. I tried again ‘But mam, the guy in Pune office…”THIS IS NOT PUNE, THIS IS KOLHAPUR!!! (reminded me of 300, Gerhard Butler’s dialogue ‘This is SPARTA’) Do as I tell you!’

I am in a city which I barely know and I have now been asked to get my original Certificate notarized! I approach a Rickshaw-wala who took me to some court house. I told notary to do the honours and he laughs at my face! Obviously I mean, but I had no other choice. I explained the situation and he agrees. He gave me an inside scoop, that in case a fraud takes place, the board can blame it on notaty. I return, and now I am told that I can get only 1 copy that too after a week by post and I had to submit the original! Desperate, I submit the things. Today I received an envelop containing damaged and tarnished certificate and… thats it. No copy that I was looking for. So I call them up and I get a standard ‘We will look into the matter’!

To all the lawyers out there, I have a question. Can I sue these blood-sucking anthropomorphic insects?

2)Pune railway station

I am using my online reservation account on IRCTC these days to book tickets. During my last trip to Chennai, I experienced the horrors of traveling on waiting list ticket in a region where people barely understand your language. This next journey is 30 hr long, to a town in Tamilnadu, Kovilpatti. Someone suggested me to book the ticket from Lonavala and change the boarding station to Pune later. A star that I am, forgot to put boarding Pune, while reserving. I tried to change it later, but the online portal does not have that facility. I learned that I can do that on station. Went there. I am told to write an application (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!: I shouted in my head), get it signed from Chief Station Superintendent, attach copy of ID and stand in queue of window no. 2. And the whole purpose of my online reservation was now lost! Why not 1 teeny-tiny additional feature on web-portal??

Sato misses out to Bourdais

Bad news is just pouring in for F1 lovers. Toro Rosso confirmed Bourdais along with Sébastien Buemi (btw what is the deal with Toro Rosso and Sébastien? Vettel, Bourdais and now Buemi all Sébastiens? Coincidence?) ending the speculations over Takuma Sato’s return. No hard feelings for Bourdais, he is a promising driver. Just feeling sad to visualize F1 without Sato again this year. The guy is a true entertainer. It takes something special to overtake two world champions (Schumi and Alonso!) in a single race in a Super Aguri. Plus, now Force IndiaNS will be left alone on the track. No real competitors for them!

All other teams have retained their drivers so Sato has no chance unless Honda is revived(duh!) or substituted. F1 needs a star like Sato around. He is like Muralitharan when he bats, plays for the heck of it but can manage to spring a surprise every now and then!

Glory of Manchester United

ManU is on a dream run all over. But especially in EPL, one of their key members is shining brighter than the usual. Edwin van der Sar has entered record books for most consecutive clean sheets in EPL,  13 after yesterdays important win over West Ham. ManU’s dominance is evident from his casual comment: ‘I am ready to let one in!‘. This says it all!

Fed’ERROR’ fails to win the 14th

Thanks to two of the greatest tennis players of our time, we saw an amazing clash for the throne down under. With a bland whitewash in Womens’ title, a nail biting finale was very much required for Mens’ round. And none could have given it to us than Federer and Nadal. After Wimbledon last year, many of my friends jumped off the (apparently) sinking ship and started supporting Nadal. But I am a true believer of cliché(?) “Form is temporary but the class is permanent”. This showdown was a great chance for Federer to regain what he truly deserves. Additionally, there was a cherry on top for him- 14th Grand Slam title, equaling Pete Sampras’s record. But it was not meant to be with Rafa on the other side of the net, aiming for his first title on hard court.

The start was a true indication of what was coming. We saw 5 serve breaks in 1st set. After a neck to neck fight and 2-2 sets, Nadal managed to hold his nerve when Federer lost it. Though Nadal’s game was brilliant, I am tempted to give a bigger credit of his success to Federer’s unforced errors in the last set. It was very disturbing to see him making one mistake after another. We saw the other side of the moon today; I had never seen Federer lose his temper with a line call. After trailing 1-3 in last set, he made a few futile challenges and got into a minor argument with the referee (couldn’t understand what he said, because the conversation was in french). He never recovered from there and now will have to wait for his record.

In spite of my earlier comment, you will agree that it really takes a lot to defeat even a mistake prone Federer. Hats off to Nadal for his amazing stamina and skill. (Alan Wilkins: Can somebody please remind him that he is supposed to be tired from 5 hr long mach with Verdasco?) He was all over the court and made some astounding returns. This is why I like clash of the titans. No matter what the result is, you always get to see an amazing match. I am looking forward to their next meeting already.

Since I am on the subject of tennis, let me also congratulate Yuki Bhambri and Sania-Mahesh for their brilliant achievements at the Australian Open. India manged to shine with their feat; keep it up guys!

(Title courtesy: Nachiket and Vipul)